These are real testimonials from real people who have used my marriage-saving programs. They cover everything from repairing their emotions to rebuilding trust back into their marriages.
Please go through these and experience the kind of transformation that is possible with my programs.
“I learned how to start trusting my wife again.”
“You are a big help! You taught me how to take my wife’s reassurance at face
value and quit doubting her sincerity. After doing that I learned how to start
trusting my wife again.”
David W********e
Moore, OK
“…we are starting over with a clean slate.”
“I have been working for a long time trying to rebuild trust with my husband
after his affair. He felt that just because he was sorry and wanted to work it
out that I should IMMEDIATELY trust him again and stopped talking about the
affair.
“However I still had questions that were haunting me and could not move forward.
Once he read your section on how to rebuild the trust, he understood more about
what I needed from him!
“It is amazing that some of the things mentioned in your section are exactly what
I wanted to happen. Of course when I said it, he didn’t give much thought to it
but I guess seeing it in writing from an actual author made it real.
“After reading just this one section and understanding what I needed from him my
husband agreed to answer ANY question in regards to his affair that I had.
Believe me it wasn’t easy for either one of us to actually have to tell the
truth about what happened on his part and for me to hear it.
“But now for the first time I honestly feel like we are starting over with a
clean slate.
“Thank you Dr. Gunzburg!”
Nicole W******s
Oceanside, CA
“I feel more secure and feel that I can begin to trust
him again.”
“Building trust has been the biggest challenge for us and at times appeared to
be impossible. The tips that you provided have been great because it has made
my spouse understand my feelings and needs better and I feel more secure and
feel that I can begin to trust him again. Thanks!”
Lylla C*******s
Cary, NY
“…you made us more understanding, open and empathetic to each
other.”
“Dr. Gunzburg, you helped to restore the trust in my relationship by letting my
spouse and myself both know what we were feeling and going through.
“We learned that what we are feeling and going through is okay and part of the
healing process and you also taught us what the other person is feeling and you
made us more understanding, open and empathetic to each other.
“You gave me hope to not to give up when we hit a rough patch, but to continue
what we were doing and just keep communicating until that rough patch passed,
which they do more easily and quickly now.”
Rhonda E****s
Baltimore, MD
“I could have used this information early on.”
“I would have liked to have had this information when I first learned about the
affair. I could have used this information early on.”
Doug Saylor
Snow Shoe, PA
“As I read the chapter I felt I could breathe.”
“I like the way the material is presented in the chapter. My emotional state is
very clouded with information, searching for answers, grasping at anything,
trying to make sense, and feelings of defeat. This chapter was very well
organized. As I read the chapter I felt I could breath and begin to understand
what was happening to me. What I personally like best about this chapter is how
it is presented. The simplicity and structure of information put things in
perspective for me so that I could sort through my emotions and begin to
understand.”
Lori Ann S******i
Morganville, NJ
“I… like the fact that you do not condemn me for feeling
that way.”
“I liked the fact that you addressed the emotions that the injured feels. My
husband has cheated on me about 3 times that I know of during the course of our
10 year relationship. I have felt every emotion that you named and could add
bitterness as one. I also like the fact that you do not condemn me for feeling
that way.”
Nolita J*****n
Oxford, GA
“I could relate with all these stories.”
“The part I really liked was the real people telling their own stories, what they
went through and what they are doing now to rebuilt their trust. I could relate
with all these stories.”
Laura R***o
Greenvale, NY
“Oh my gosh, it described exactly what I went through.”
“Oh my gosh, it described exactly what I went through. My husband and I are
getting back together. They were together for 3 out of our 10 years, and I knew
about it for 8 months. This has been VERY hard.”
Stephanie S******d
Frisco, TX
“Identifying my shortcomings has made me better understand myself.”
“Even though we are still going through a very rough time in our marriage trying
to cope with my past infidelities I’m stepping outside myself and realizing how
inconsiderate, selfish and hurtful that I was not only to my wife, but to my
children. Identifying my shortcomings has made me better understand myself and
become a better husband, father and person.”
Jimmy E G****n
Vancouver, WA
“It helped me know what to watch out for and avoid.”
“The section on 10 Destructive Habits was the best! It helped me know what to
watch out for and avoid. It’s very important to be forewarned of what a
negative impact an action will have so you can prepare to stop it before it
occurs. I will have to re-read it; perhaps several times to learn all the
things that I feel will help. My initial reaction is that the whole chapter is
full of useful information, much of which I hope I will have the opportunity to
use. The 10 Destructive Habits that Demolish Trust and Tear Down Love was an
excellent guide to what should and should not be done to attain the ultimate
goal and purpose of behind reconciliation. If that is your goal than this is a
very important guide to accomplishing it.”
Gerald L******r
Loves Park, IL
“I particularly liked the 10 conversations and questions in each.”
“I think this chapter 6 was well written, carefully thought out and exceedingly
clear. I particularly liked the 10 conversations and questions in each — definitely something to do to heal a relationship. It’s a pity more couples
don’t start out this way.”
A M*x
Melbourne Australia
“It does work.”
“This is good information for me. It does work, and drastically reduces the
tension in such situations. I am acting in a calmer manner.”
Byron F. S****y
Hammond, IN
“You laid out a plan for me to rebuild the trust with my wife.”
“I appreciated how you laid out a plan for me to rebuild the trust with my wife.
I really like your information on the 5 Building Blocks for having a
transparent relationship and learned how I am guilty of doing the 10
Destructive Habits that tear down my relationship.”
R S***h
Boise, ID
“Without your support with your first book and this chapter I don’t
think I would be saving my marriage right now.”
“All of what I read has made a huge impact on me. Without your support with your
first book and this chapter I don’t think I would be saving my marriage right
now. I know that your coaching will and is making me a better and stronger
person every time I read it.”
Simone G****e
Bairnsdale, Victoria, Australia
“…your book exactly describes what should be done.”
“I think you hit the nail on the head when you said to sort through your
emotions instead of asking questions about the affair. I think people don’t
know what to do when they are so numb from finding out, but your book exactly
describes what should be done.”
Kristin S****e
Milner, GA
“You really seem to understand how painful it is.”
“The 9 shockwaves you wrote about are exactly the way I feel. I am experiencing
the 4 roadblocks to healing. It really helped me to see in writing that I am
not going crazy or feeling things I am not supposed to feel. You really seem to
understand how painful it is.”
Georgette B*****r
Fort Wayne, IN
“It is amazing how every emotion you describe, I am living
through.”
“Reading it as if I could have written it. It is amazing how every emotion you
describe, I am living through. I am looking for help to cope and you are giving
specifics to me. I can’t make a lot of decisions now and when I have something
positive to actually do, like breath, leave the house, take a walk, even though
I KNOW this, because it is a plan of action, I will do it.”
Susie F******o
Tucker, GA
“I think you give a true road map and plan on how deal with this situation.”
“I have looked at a lot of books in the Book Stores but I find that they are
too theoretical. You get right to meat of the whole thing…you don’t have to
read a bunch of preliminary stuff. When you are in this situation…you want to
get right to the point…and you have. Well done.. I think you give a true road
map and plan on how deal with this situation. I think most people, after they
get over the shock…still want to save their marriage but need to know how to
go about it.”
Wayne H****n
Vancouver, BC, Canada
“Your system has made me less angry and sad.”
“I feel more positive about the future of our relationship. Although painful at
times, going through the section that helps you process your emotions was very
therapeutic. Your system has made me less angry and sad and now more hopeful of
what the future will bring.”
Sue S******a
Brisbane, Queensland
“Reading this will help me to control jealous feelings.”
“It’s not my fault! When my mind starts wondering and I feel anger I can think
of the helpful hints that you suggest. Reading this will help me to control
jealous feelings.”
Denise B*****l
Grass Valley, OR
“The weight of the world is off my shoulders.”
“The weight of the world is off my shoulders. I’ve been having anxiety attacks
and now they are now gone…thank you.”
Lydia L**e
Walton, NY
“The other books never had any real counsel or direction.”
“It was dead on to everything that I felt. I have sorted through countless books
at the bookstore that talk about the emotions, but all it is talk. This book
seems about really taking hold of it. The other books never had any real
counsel or direction. This seems direct, to the point, yet compassionate.”
Amy M*****n
Mission Viejo, CA
“I no longer blame myself.”
“I have felt extreme guilt over my husband’s affair. If I had done things
differently, could have seen the signs that he was becoming so unhappy then
maybe I could have prevented him from looking outside our marriage. I no longer
blame myself. I have come to realize that all marriages have peaks and valleys.
He certainly wasn’t meeting all of my needs either but I didn’t go outside my
marriage to make myself feel better. I believed that we were an exceptional
couple and when I realized that our marriage was in trouble, I gave him 200%
and that still didn’t stop him from continuing with the affair.”
Melody R**t
Muncie, IN
“I felt as if you are my personal friend.”
“Just about everything you mentioned I was able to relate to. I felt as if you
are my personal friend that knows what I’ve been through and understands that I
am still trying to find the way to adjust to the changes in my life.”
Laureen R**e
Douglas County, GA
“…these are normal emotions…thank you.”
“You addressed the varied emotions accurately and summed it up by telling the
betrayed person that these are normal emotions…thank you. Though one feels
‘crazy’ as we are buried beneath this avalanche of emotion, we have a natural
urge to dig ourselves out from beneath that rumble and fight for our survival.”
Esther G**d
Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario, Canada
“I liked the exercise to sit and really think about the emotions
that you are feeling.”
“I liked the exercise to sit and really think about the emotions that you are
feeling deep down inside. I’ve had a tendency to bottle them up and then just
blow up over something very small. Also, one of the emotions that I didn’t
expect was love. It made me realize that despite the other feelings, I still
love my husband.”
Lisa G****w
Avoca, PA
“You helped me discover and begin to sort through the emotions that
were hidden by hurt and fear.”
“Chapter 1 did exactly as stated… You helped me discover and begin to sort
through the emotions that were hidden by hurt and fear.”
Michelle P*****e
Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
“I liked the exercises the best.”
“I liked the exercises the best. It was the first time I saw advice on how to
work through it. There is plenty of material affirming how betrayed spouses
feel out there, but little on what to actually do with of those emotions and
thoughts.”
Nancy A. B***n
Whitehouse, OH
“Your questions have been empowering.”
“I will definitely be able to face the turmoil I’ve been keeping pent up inside
in a constructive way. Until now, I’ve been avoiding dealing with the myriad of
thoughts and emotions out of fear that I wouldn’t be able to cope. Your
questions have been empowering in the sense that I feel there is a logical and
safe way to reflect on things and be able to heal myself.”
Valerie M******z
San Marcos, TX
“By just following the steps you have mentioned I have regained
some control of ‘our’ life, without even demanding it.”
“I am able to converse with my partner in a more positive respectful manner; I
am able to laugh. I am being myself, we’ve talking and laughing, simple things
are pleasurable again. On Sunday we actually had dinner in the park, and spent
3 hours just sitting and chatting away. This could NEVER happen as recent as 2
weeks ago. By just following the steps you have mentioned I have regained some
control of ‘our’ life, without even demanding it. I know I’ve got a lot of work
and a long and perhaps difficult road ahead, but I know that if I keep
practicing I’ll make it.”
Nicole A*******m
Brooklyn, NY
“You have taught me how to cope.”
“You information was so helpful to me. I realized that you cannot skip over
anything in your system because if you did you’ll gloss over important
information. You have taught me how to cope with this and not explode.”
Brandon M****mr
Hesperia, CA
“…it’s comforting to know that I’m not alone.”
“It’s nice to have someone describe accurately what I was feeling at the time.
And it’s comforting to know that I’m not alone. Now I have better control over
my emotions and talking to a lot of friends has really helped. Thanks.”
Joyce
Auckland, New Zealand
“I was able to carry on.”
“Your system is amazing. It gives you the strength to carry on in life and never
to assume that it is over just because of an emotional break down. I was able
to carry on instead of thinking it was over.”
Temitope O*********a
Kogi, Nigeria
“I am experiencing many of the feelings you’ve written about.”
“Even though the problems still exist I feel more capable to deal with them. I
am experiencing many of the feelings you’ve written about. Some of these
feelings are ugly and ones I didn’t think I was capable of feeling. Seeing it
written validates these feelings and has given me some options in dealing with
them — or at least good advice not to act on them.”
Alisa C****r
Madison, WI
“I truly felt as if I were going crazy.”
“I think I’m better equipped to look at the different aspects of his affair and
not go ballistic. Also my husband read this and we seem better able to
communicate about our emotions. All of it helped me to know that these things
I’m feeling are normal. I truly felt as if I were going crazy.”
Becky M******o
Albany, GA
“I really wasn’t alone.”
“I liked the fact that it helped me put names to what I was feeling. That I
really wasn’t alone in feeling such rage and anguish.”
Maria L. H********n
Trenton, NJ
“…the emotions I am dealing with are normal.”
“Seeing that the emotions I am dealing with are normal for what I have been
through.”
Margaret G***s
Michigan City, IN
“You clarified emotions.”
“You clarified emotions and the steps of healing.”
Beth M****i
Washingtonville, NY
“I wasn’t alone with all of my mixed emotion.”
“I really was surprised and relieved to see that I wasn’t alone with all of my
mixed emotions. Also how to realize when and how to express what exactly you
are feeling.”
Judy S*****a
StoneyCreek, Ontario, Canada
“Proceed with the intent of staying together”
“(I learned) How to proceed with the intent of staying together.”
Amy Q***y
Boulder, CO
“…it wasn’t my fault no matter what type of partner I was
(am).”
“Reaffirmation that my emotions are normal and felt by others. I liked the
emergency ways to deal with my emotions, and that you consistently reminded me
that it wasn’t my fault no matter what type of partner I was (am).”
Angela M*****a
Kapaa, HI
“It was very helpful to get advice.”
“It was very helpful to get advice on how to handle these powerful and sometimes
obsessive feelings.”
Nanci von J****i
Smithfield, VA
“Every emotion, every thought. It is like degrees of mourning.”
“It was exactly what I have been going through. Every emotion, every thought. It
is like degrees of mourning. It was empowering that I was normal.”
Pam K****z
Holly, MI
“I got a good chance to look at myself in the mirror.”
“It was nice to read that the emotions that I had felt were not only about the
affair but by looking inward I got a good chance to look at myself in the
mirror and sort through all the other emotions that have been burying me
alive.”
Meredith B*****o
Hope, RI
“…I learned how to acknowledge the negative emotions of
anger, rage, hurt, pain, jealousy, betrayal.”
“I learned how to acknowledge the negative emotions of anger, rage, hurt, pain,
jealousy, betrayal & turn inward for healing & releasing these emotions. But
not acting out in a way that would be harmful.”
Irene E. W******s
Marion, SC
“…get in tuned with what emotions come up was scary but
very awakening.”
“The best part of chapter 1 was it identified all the emotions and the ways I
can work through them. The part about taking the time out to think about the
affair and to get in tuned with what emotions come up was scary but very
awakening.”
Jeanette C*****s
San Jose, CA
“You were able to bring these emotions to light.”
“The straight forwardness, which compelled me to acknowledge my feelings; I feel
a little relieved that you were able to bring these emotions to light in an way
that compelled me to not sit back and blame myself; while wallowing in self
pity, and unnecessary guilt.”
Nicole A.
Brooklyn, NY
“Now I know how to take better care of myself.”
“You really showed me that by doing negative things it only worsens the
situation and makes me unhappier. Now I know how to take better care of myself
instead of continuing to punish myself. Thank you.”
Melissa G*****a
Stockton, CA
“I liked the advice to get exercise, breathe and talk to friends.”
“I liked the advice to get exercise, breathe and talk to friends. I am 8 months
into the divorce and knowledge of the affair; I have utilized all of these
things to get me through each day.”
Cheryl H***s
Los Osos, CA
“The pain is sometimes unbearable.”
“You helped me to see and understand some of the feelings I am feeling… I have
to keep telling my self that it was not my fault. The pain is sometimes
unbearable and but I want to understand and to be able to love again.”
Lynda H**s
Dallas, NC
“I liked how it was laid out.”
“I liked how it was laid out in simple easy to read terms.”
Elizabeth P******e
Sydney, NSW
“I wish that I had read this whole book when I first started to
feel all of these emotions.”
“I thought that the chapter would be very helpful for someone who has just found
out about the betrayal. For me it has been about 7 months so I have already
been through all of those emotions. I wish that I had read this whole book when
I first started to feel all of these emotions.”
Jess W***s
Rutland, VT
“It… had all the questions that I was asking myself.”
“I loved it all. It confirmed all the emotions I was feeling and that I was
normal and not alone. It also had all the questions that I was asking myself.
Like why and I would have never thought, guilt, blaming myself, am I
overreacting etc.”
Esther O*****o
Traverse City, MI
“…identifying the exact emotions that I have been feeling
is helpful.”
“(I learned) Mainly that identifying the exact emotions that I have been feeling
is helpful. One of the things I have felt is that I was crazy for taking so
long to get over the betrayal and to control my constant questioning about what
my spouse is doing all of the time. It has been 8 mos. since I found out, he
told me, and I still have the fantasies when he is away for a long period of
time that he is meeting or talking to the woman. I hope that these feelings
will go away soon, for good.”
Rita M****n
Long Island, NY
“What I like best is the constant reassurance.”
“All the emotions are there and they are real. This reassures me that it is
normal and I can deal with it and perhaps eventually become a stronger and
better person than I could have been had I not had to weather this
storm….what I like best is the constant reassurance that I so much need to
believe this was in no way my fault.”
Pat P*******o
Uniontown, PA
“…I liked the part where you search within your self, from
incidences from your past that makes you feel the way you do.”
“I liked the part where you try to understand your own reasons why you feel the
way you do — why are you so jealous, why are you so angry, why are you so
guilty — to search within your self, from incidences from your past that makes
you feel the way you do. It helps give you direction.”
Natalie M***n
El Paso, TX
“You made me feel that this horrible ordeal may be the bottom of a
roller coaster headed towards the top.”
“Learning about putting a list together of things that are certain in life, and
looking at that list when things seem uncertain really helped. You made me feel
that this horrible ordeal may be the bottom of a roller coaster headed towards
the top.”
Trudy J*****n
Armarillo, TX
“You helped me to deal with my feelings of rage and anger.”
“(I learned) How to cope with feelings of jealousy towards the other woman and
to accept the fact that my husband has chosen to stay with me rather than go to
the other woman. You also helped me to deal with my feelings of rage and
anger.”
Lilette W****r
Tamworth England
“…helped me to see in writing where these feelings are coming
from.”
“The explanation of the origins of each of these emotions has helped me to see
in writing where these feelings are coming from.”
Susan H****d
Portland, OR
“I’m looking forward to doing the journaling activities.”
“I liked the fact that it centered on how to start with me first. It validated
almost every single emotion I’ve been experiencing so I know now that what I’ve
been thinking and feeling is normal. I’m looking forward to doing the
journaling activities since I think that will not only help me reflect on
things but also be a way to release my thoughts in a focused manner instead of
keeping them swimming around in my head.”
Valerie M******z
San Marcos, TX
“I thank you for making me know my feelings are legit.”
“This chapter hit the hammer on a lot of nails for me. It has been 3 years since
the affair and 2 years since I found out and I feel like I was made to feel
like my feelings didn’t count. The affair was over for over a year, I had a
feeling of something going on, asked my husband and felt like a blind fool
believing his lies back then—when he made me feel like I over reacted. I
appreciated the total transparency comment which has been an issue in our
relationship, thank you for making me know my feelings are legit.”
Lori B******w
Bowling Green, Missouri
“It was helpful to have important points in numbered groups with each point.”
“I liked the empathetic straightforward writing style. It was helpful to have
important points in numbered groups with each point within the group given good
explanation.”
Susan F****m
Downers Grove, IL
“I like where you tell us to do something for our self.”
“What I like best about the chapter is your ideas you give us to get past
feeling it is our fault when in turn it is the other person who decide to go
this way of dealing with their problem, I find my self to feeling so same a
person will reach out to some one else in a affair rather then deal with the
real problem at hand. I like where you tell us to do something for our self, I
find out that really help.”
Linda J*****n
Denver, CO
“I learned that the affair was not my fault and I should stop
blaming myself and stop asking why.”
“I learned that the affair was not my fault and I should stop blaming myself and
stop asking why. I was set in a pattern of trying to figure out how I could
have let this happen. I realize now that even though I made many mistakes,
(she) chose to have the affairs.”
Patrick C**e
Hollywood, FL
“…it is healthy to feel, and work through the emotions,
not just move on as if the affair never happened.”
“(I liked) How you identified the common reactions and how extreme they can be.
That it is healthy to feel, and work through the emotions, not just move on as
if the affair never happened. Also, the healing and coping strategies. And the
hard truth that he could cheat again, to face reality, as tough as it is.”
Tara M****r
Hartland, WI
“Reading (this) helped me pinpoint my feelings rather than just
feeling ‘empty’.”
“Reading about the emotions that are common after the affair helped me pinpoint
my feelings rather than just feeling ‘empty’. I know that I feel betrayed and
confused and sad.”
Anne C.
Omaha, NE
“It helped me realize it wasn’t my fault.”
“It helped me realize it wasn’t my fault and how to help myself get back to my
view of life.”
Lydia L**e
Walton, NY
“The roadblock that discussed being a doormat was very helpful for
me.. Thank you :)”
“You Are Not A Doormat? The roadblock that discussed being a doormat was very
helpful for me. I constantly struggled with feelings that I was not a strong
woman to tolerate this affair, and I felt like I was weak and foolish to still
want to save my marriage. I also struggled with feelings that it takes two. My
spouse and his family blamed me for the affair. I drove him to do it. I realize
now that I was dying a slow death inside believing this and internalizing this
blame. This book has made a huge positive impact on me now that I see it was
good to be a doormat and it wasn’t my fault. Thank you.”
Lori Ann S******i
Morganville, NJ
“(It) made me feel like there is hope.”
“It may sound simple, but reading the words that my wife chose to be with me in
the end, made me feel like there is hope.”
Andrew G**m
Mesquite, TX
“…people who want to work their relationships out after
an affair and to forgive, are not a doormat.”
“I liked that it was mentioned that people who want to work their relationships
out after an affair and to forgive, are not a doormat, but are people who have
strong will to learn and rebuild their love again.”
Melissa Susan E*******e
Newport News, VA
“The part that had the most impact on me at this current time was
the section on paranoia.”
“The part that had the most impact on me at this current time was the section on
paranoia. I think that I am stuck in this stage and do not know how to 100%
trust again.”
Jess W***s
Rutland, VT
“I can maybe gain back the trust that was taken and make my
marriage an even stronger bond.”
“That I can maybe gain back the trust that was taken and make my marriage an
even stronger bond. At this point in my life I find that hard to believe. But
then again it has only been two weeks since I have asked my husband to leave
our home. So things are pretty fresh and I am still extremely hurting.”
Esther O*****o
Traverse City, MI
“You helped me realize that I have to work on inner self to start
healing.”
“You helped me realize that I have to work on inner self to start healing. I do
become obsessive with trying to get even, or getting him back and all it does
is backfire on me. I keep pushing my healing process back.”
Tonya T********y
Smithville, Ontario, Canada
“I was concerned that this was a unique reaction to me, and that I
had somehow been transformed into a hard, callous person.”
“Reading the testimonials from both men and women regarding anger and violent
feelings had a huge positive impact for me. I’m a pacifist by nature and detest
violence, but after learning of the affair, I had incredible feelings of rage
and anger. I was concerned that this was a unique reaction to me, and that I
had somehow been transformed into a hard, callous person.”
Mike L****u
Berkeley, CA
“I liked the idea that focusing on myself.”
“I liked the idea that focusing on myself will help me through this, and the
repeated concepts that this is not my fault.”
Marian L*e
South Orange, NJ
“I really like the idea of writing down my feelings.”
“I really like the idea of writing down my feelings. I didn’t want to do that
for fear that my husband or kids would find it one day and read it but I know
that writing down my thoughts will help me help myself faster. I can focus on
all the issues that I have.”
Anne C.
Omaha, NE
“I have a sense of relief.”
“Since it is recommended to work on my emotions before trying to move forward
with ‘fixing’ the relationship I have a sense of relief. I felt it was
necessary, but struggled with what was more important.”
Jeanette C*****s
San Jose, CA
“I will be able to start learning to look more inside myself to be
able to come to terms with things.”
“I feel that I will be able to start learning to look more inside myself to be
able to come to terms with things. I hope I can learn how to deal with
different emotions I feel and learn how to control them or channel them into
some other more positive reaction. I will try and get out more for exercise,
understanding that exercise can help to ‘lift’ my moods.”
Elizabeth P******e
Sydney, NSW
“I am aware of my emotions and now I am dealing with them.”
“I am starting to deal with the anger, bitterness, resentment and hurt. I would
bring up the affairs that my husband had and throw them in his face. Of course,
that did not solve anything. I would lash out in anger and I would not get a
response. I am concentrating on my healing now. I am aware of my emotions and
now I am dealing with them.”
Nolita J*****n
Oxford, GA
“I am now going to try to implement an exercise routine to help me
cope.”
“I am now going to try to implement an exercise routine to help me cope with my
anger and frustration as well as focusing on the stability I do have such as my
kids.”
Holly K**g
Sacramento, CA
“I now know that I will be able to move on and start healing and
letting go of the guilt.”
“After reading chapter 1 I now know that I will be able to move on and start
healing and letting go of the guilt being the number one factor since after
finding out about the affair I had asked my husband to move out and this has
disrupted our whole family including my three girls which brings me even more
guilt. I now realize that this is what needed to be done to maybe down the road
built a stronger marriage should this be the road I take.”
Esther O*****o
Traverse City, MI
“…I am being more transparent.”
“After my affair, you have taught me how to have
a new level of accountability with my wife and I am being more transparent with
her.”
Tom S*****s
Ashville, AL
“My husband has forgiven me.”
“I wish I could have read this before I tried to go back to my lover. This time
it is over and I have cut all contact. My husband has forgiven me and I will
work on re-building my marriage. We are both working on it together, and
spending quality time together. I have moved on from the affair and now
concentrate on the good things in my marriage. Your information is so valuable
to me, and spot on, thank you.”
Mandy H****d
Brisbane, Queensland
“…these are all normal feelings and eventually I will survive.”
“I really liked how you described the feelings that are happening to me…guilt,
hopelessness, loneliness, etc. I figure I deserve to be experiencing these
things and I do, but it was nice to read that these are all normal feelings and
eventually, I will survive. I have seen some changes…my husband is beginning
to act like he trusts me more.”
Barbara G*******r
Tyrone, OK
“…make a great deal of sense.”
“All of the parts of the chapter to the cheater (me) have helped me to make sense
of the emotions and feelings that are being experienced in the aftermath of my
affair. The explanations are incredibly accurate and make a great deal of sense
in a world of turmoil.”
Keith W*****s
Headcom, Kentucky
“I have more confidence that we will heal.”
“Thank you for teaching me how to be patient and positive regarding rebuilding
the trust. I have more confidence that we will heal.”
Paul S****l
Almo, Kentucky
“This has helped to diminish some of my guilt rather quickly.”
“Your examples of others’ pain helped me to realize that my own pain wasn’t all
that unique and your discussions of excessive guilt helped me to realize that I
may have unresolved issues and simply reading this has helped to diminish some
of my guilt rather quickly. I feel more like I’ll be able to pull through
this.”
Mark S*****n
Poway, CA
“…my husband and I are talking more.”
“My affair just ended 4 days ago and I will definitely end all communication
with my lover and I will try to communicate better with my husband and be
sensitive to his feelings as well but most importantly I will try to forgive
myself. But one thing I have noticed is my husband and I are talking more plus
the feelings of guilt and shame are getting better.”
Jami E******n
Arvada, CO
“…I have actually become more transparent with my wife.”
“You helped me, mostly from the absolute step of ending the affair and any
contact with the other person, to the emotional after affects and how I have
actually become more transparent with my wife, while I’m still in a little
pain. Thanks.”
Sean M T****s
Ashburn, VA
“… I am reassured that I am acting correctly.”
“You do a wonderful job hitting all the various feelings and issues that the
cheater feels. Thankfully I have done much of what you suggested, but now I am
reassured that I am acting correctly and that my emotions are natural. Thank
you.”
V S***h
Epsom, NH
“I wish I had read this before the relationship ended.”
“The parts of your system that were most helpful to me were the 7 Emotional
Trials the Cheater Will Face, as well as the section on Becoming Transparent. I
never really looked at it from that point of view. It was very helpful,
although a little too late. Unfortunately my relationship ended on my birthday.
I wasn’t aware that my actions simply didn’t demonstrate a type of
‘transparent’ behavior. I wish I had read this before the relationship ended.
Thank you, I will make it a point never to cheat again.”
Veronica B***h
Independence, MO
“…gave me a better perspective on the type of emotions my
mate is going through.”
“Being that I am the one who did the injury to my mate and I really don’t know
the ‘real’ impact of my actions. Reading chapter 3 (to the injured person) gave
me a better idea of the type of emotions my mate is going through and it gave
me a better perspective on the type emotions my mate is dealing with and how I
can help to allow him really work through his healing.”
Dora T****n
Brooklyn, NY
“…he wants to stay with me and I want to stay with him.”
“Your information was right on target for what my husband has been feeling and
it has surely given him some hope which makes me feel like there is light at
the end of the tunnel. There is hope for us because he wants to stay with me
and I want to stay with him.”
Denise B***g
Moblie, AL
“This will help me learn how to be more understanding.”
“I like knowing what my husband is going through after I hurt him like that.
This will help me learn how to be more understanding of what he is going
through.”
Crystal,
NY
“I was making the mistake of pressuring him”
“I will be more patient, nurturing and allow him all the space he needs to come
to terms with his feelings. I was making the mistake of pressuring him with too
many issues immediately after he found out and I now know that I was making a
huge mistake. I don’t want to push him away.”
Veronica V*****z
Del Valle, TX
“I know that I can change my behavior and save this marriage.”
“I loved chapter 3 to the injured person, it is what I feel my husband needs. We
are separated and he believes that we can never reconcile, however I believe we
can. I used to wallow in a pool of guilt for the pain I have caused him, but
now I know that I can change my behavior and save this marriage. Thank you for
this information.”
Melissa H*****n
Citris Heights, CA
“…our relationship can be saved and even improved.”
“Thank you for taking the 8 major emotions and breaking them down and relating
them to the affair. This helped me to understand my husband’s emotions. It
gives me hope that my husband can heal and our relationship can be saved and
even improved.”
Lori G*****n
Gadsden, Alabama
“I will patiently listen to my partner’s pain.”
“This showed me how to proceed with the intent of staying together. I will
patiently listen to my partner’s pain.”
Amy Q***y
Boulder, CO
“Instead of blaming my partner for the affair, it has made me feel more
accountable.”
“I can empathize with my partner and understand how my affair has caused them to
feel these different types of emotions. Instead of blaming my partner for the
affair, it has made me feel more accountable.”
Cheryl J****n
Long Beach, CA
“Our relationship has already improved.”
“The information I learned will help my husband make changes. Our relationship
has already improved.”
Linda H******i
Edmonton, Alberta
Canada
“I like how you explained and gave advice on each word.”
“I like how you explained and gave advice on each word, breaking it down and
explaining what it means with an example. This was very helpful.”
Kris R****o
Montclair, CA
“I feel more equipped in explaining how I feel.”
“Thank you! After reading this chapter, I feel more equipped in explaining how I
feel to my husband.”
Denise
Winnipeg, Manitoba
“I’m starting to understand how important communication is.”
“After reading this chapter, I’m starting to understand how important
communication is and how easy it is to neglect. I am now more likely to address
issues that bother me. After reading your advice, I try not to suppress my
feelings so he understands how I feel.”
Penny E*******o
Hillsborough, NJ
“This chapter taught me how to listen more and slow life down.”
“This chapter taught me how to listen more and slow life down, sit on the deck
and listen to the birds.”
Louise T****r
Langley BC Canada
“…now realize my 50 percent of the blame in pushing him towards
another woman.”
“I agreed with the section on looking for factors that caused the Cheater to
Cheat. I already did this, and now realize my 50 percent of the blame in
pushing him towards another woman.”
Kim M*****n
Melbourne, Victoria
“I found this information and the lessons discussed to be extremely
helpful.”
“Your article and others that I have read discuss unmet needs as a common
problem. I found this information and the lessons discussed to be extremely
helpful in understanding my own situation.”
Michael J****r
Newark, DE
“It is very powerful information.”
“Wow — I need to read the whole chapter again. It is very powerful information. I
appreciate the advice to revisit earlier steps and then move on. I am so amazed
by your work with this subject.”
Marcia H***h
Norfolk, MA
“The chapter showed me how I can adjust my communication skills.”
“Thank you for pointing out the needs being neglected and communicating them
effectively. I’ll take time to listen and apply myself to fill his needs and be
honest about mine. The chapter showed me how I can adjust my communication
skills to actually hear what he is telling me and communicate my needs
specifically to him. The ‘Neglecting your Partner’s Needs’ section was worded
in a way that I understood, including what my feelings or assumptions had to do
with the problems in our relationship.”
Cindy A*******a
Evans, Colorado
“I’m also going to pay more attention to what my partner wants or
needs.”
“I’m going to discuss this section with my partner to help with our problems. I’m
also going to pay more attention to what my partner wants or needs, but won’t
or isn’t telling me.”
Brandon C. M****r
Hesperia, CA
“The part of the chapter that helped me the most the explanation of
why cheaters cheat.”
“The part of the chapter that helped me the most the explanation of why cheaters
cheat. I also appreciated the responsibility part as well. This relates
directly to my relationship and helps me deal with our issues.”
Danielle H******n
Humble, TX
“This chapter showed me ways to ask myself what I need.”
“Thank you for breaking down the 10 critical dimensions into specific parts of
the relationship. This chapter showed me ways to ask myself what I need out of
each of these parts. This section supported my belief that, over time, we have
forgotten to make time for each other and make our desires known to the other.
I can now address this.”
Danielle S***a
Morris, IL
“I like the complete apology you gave.”
“Needing an apology is very important. I like the complete apology you gave. I am
glad that some of the work in forgiveness is already complete, and this chapter
makes me realize some of the work we have done on ’instinct’ has been good.”
Jennifer P****e
Haymarket, VA
“Your list of questions helped me tremendously.”
“Your list of questions helped me tremendously. There are so many things that I
want to know. Now I know how to work through them.”
Betty M****e
Danville, KY
“I gained information about how to treat my spouse.”
“I really loved your detailed steps describing how to apologize, and what an
apology really is. I gained information about how to treat my spouse. I’ve
learned to live by the rule that if I wouldn’t yell at him in church, I should
not yell at him at home, no matter how angry I am.”
Trudy
Albuquerque, NM
“The section on healing benefits us the most.”
“I accepted my partner again, but didn’t know how to heal. The section on healing
benefits us the most, offering specific tips and guides to work through.”
Jackie F****n
Plainview, TX
“You’ve shown me how to accept the past and move into a better
future.”
“You’ve shown me how to accept the past and move into a better future. This
section helped me a great deal. I have also come to realize that living in the
past offers me no hope. We have in our own way used many of the steps you
outline in this chapter. This chapter will be an excellent tool for those
couples who read it. It is an absolute requirement if a couple is to find
healing in their relationship.”
Pat J****n
Atlanta, GA
“The whole chapter on healing was very informative on what steps
can be taken to heal.”
“The whole chapter on healing was very informative on what steps can be taken to
heal. If I was aware of this information prior to my separation, I’m sure I
would have handled things differently.”
Kerwin R****a
Bronx, NY
“This chapter showed me that it will not be fixed now, but that it
will take time to mend.”
“This chapter showed me that it will not be fixed now, but that it will take time
to mend. It showed me that it’s not my fault. I’ve also learned to be more
patient. I loved the way it was presented because it was easy to relate with,
showing you how to handle different situations more appropriately.”
Brenda H*******y
Lexington Park, MD
“This chapter on healing helped me learn how to put myself in my
husband’s shoes”
“This chapter on healing helped me learn how to put myself in my husband’s shoes
— or at least trying to. This will help me to better understand what he is
going through on his end and try to help him to cope better with his actions. I
will try not to react as angrily in our conversations. More importantly, I will
try not to be self-righteous.”
Melissa H***y
Southport, NC
“I appreciate the tips on what to do if you begin to feel anger
creeping in.”
“One of my favorite parts was about the anger I feel, helping me realize that it
is natural to be angry but it needs to be handled properly. I appreciate the
tips on what to do if you begin to feel anger creeping in. I will be making an
effort to recognize when my anger begins to creep in and then make the
necessary adjustments to overcome this feeling and help it subside. The chapter
on healing helps me see some of the ways that both I and my spouse have stepped
into the minefields. Now I will be more aware of the minefields and avoid them
altogether as best I can.”
Luke S***s
Dora, AL
“I loved the section about the angry outbursts.”
“I loved the section about the angry outbursts. I have been experiencing them
once in a blue moon, seemingly out of nowhere. I love the advice about imagine
a church setting, behave like that. I also loved the part about it being
natural to want to work it all out at once.”
Tara M****r
Hartland, WI
“I will try not to get so angry when we do try and discuss our
feelings.”
“The part describing that I need to look at myself and what I could have done
differently in the relationship to have helped made it more better for the both
of us, not just putting all the blame on the other person, but also realizing
that it was not. I will try not to get so angry when we do try and discuss our
feelings and the affair. I will also try and listen better to what the other
person is saying and try to see where they are coming from when they are
speaking about what has happened.”
Jackie M*******k
Lincoln Park, MI
“I need to give our reconciliation more time.”
“This chapter was very helpful because we both thought that this process would go
much quicker. I will definitely work more on handling my anger and jealousy. I
realize that I need to give our reconciliation more time and my husband time to
work out his feelings as well.”
Lisa G****w
Avoca, PA
“…you really hit the nail on the head.”
“Dear Dr. Gunzburg, Your section on ‘Creating a Transparent Relationship’ is
fantastic! A couple that I have been working with was stuck and still at risk
of losing their relationship…until now! Your written words spoke so clearly
and straight to the point that he now understands what (and why!) is needed and
she is feeling empowered at having read the words to what she was feeling. They
feel that you ‘really hit the nail on the head’ and so do I. This is a
must-read!”
Sharon Shenker, Montreal, Quebec, Canada,
Family-Relationship Coach and founder
Director of Divorce Support PLUS,
www.divorcesupportplus.ca
514-487-5577
“Thank you for making it clear.”
“Thank you for making it clear what I need to do on a daily basis to rebuild the
trust with my wife.”
Bobbi B
Massena, NY
“You offer real tips.”
“You offer real tips instead of being ‘preachy’ like most marriage books.”
Sheila C****r
Commerce, GA
“You gave me hope.”
“You gave us a plan for rebuilding the trust again and you gave me hope.”
Tarsha G****e
Lanham, MD
“You opened my eyes.”
“I’m thankful for your sound advice and teaching me how to make my relationship
warm again. You opened my eyes to the destructive things I was doing in my
relationship and how I was not being fair with my wife by putting all the shame
and guilt on her.”
Greg A****s
Aylesbury, UK
“…step-by-step stages to helping us heal.”
“I love how this is wonderfully written, easy to read and offers great
step-by-step stages to helping us heal.”
Carole B*****t
London
“…speed up the healing process.”
“You are helping us speed up the healing process. Thank you for an excellent
guide.”
Virginia T***t
Montgomery AL
“…taught me exactly what to do.”
“I understood everything very well and appreciate how you taught me exactly what
to do to restore the trust.”
Sheila G******r
Hillsboro, MO
“How to get my husband to understand.”
“I appreciate what you have done by teaching me how to get my husband to
understand what he did to me.”
Billi T******i
Vancouver, WA
“…you even told me what to do when I fail at fixing it.”
“Not only did you give me step-by-step directions on how to fix it, you even
told me what to do when I fail at fixing it. I am at a point now where I am
starting to trust again.”
Tanya M*****a
Waco TX
“Very Honest.”
“Very honest and to the point. What you gave me was something easy to follow
with understandable instructions.”
L M**f
Rialto, CA
“…very specific ways to rebuild the trust.”
“Thank you for giving me very specific ways to rebuild the trust, not generic
statements. I appreciate it.”
Ron S***h
Everett, WA
“Your information is like a revolution.”
“Your information is like a revolution! Everyday the trust in my marriage is
building more and more! I really like the steps to rebuilding trust. this is
really hard to do but these steps will make it easier.”
Sylvia W******s
Houston, TX
“What you did was give me hope.”
“Thank you for explaining step by step what needed to be done I read so many
things through this ordeal and I just wanted to find something that would tell
me what I need to do and that is what I found here. What you did was give me
hope that the trust can be restored again.”
Shelly J***s
St. Clairsville, OH
“…I am guilty of doing a lot of harmful things.”
“I love my wife, but I am guilty of doing a lot of harmful things. All I ever
needed was for someone to explain to me how much damage that I do to her and
now I understand what I was doing. This was a real confirmation to me. Thank
you!”
Randy
Indiana
“Now he knows how much it means to me.”
“My husband had a problem with me calling him all the time and asking him what
he was doing. Now he knows how much it means to me to know where he is. He even
calls me more than I call him now and he had his password changed to his
voicemail where I only know it and I can check all messages. Your advice
changed everything and helped us in appositive way rebuild our trust.thanks a
lot.”
Vickey M****n
Broken Arrow, OK
“…I can start in small stages.”
“You helped me realize that it will take time but I can start in small stages to
begin to trust again. The building block sections helped break down what to do
which has helped the most.”
Wilda D*******e
Pfugerville, TX
“…you covered the feelings I was having.”
“Dr. Gunzburg, you covered the feelings that I was having, and validated them as
normal. I needed that.”
Layne C*****y
El Reno, OK
“…we are now in the process of talking.”
“I was the one who cheated. My significant other has gotten to the first step of
wanting to try to work things out with me. We are now in the process of talking
in a more normal manner. I am going to live a transparent life, as I don’t ever
want to have him doubt me again.”
Meri G
New York
“…you gave me insight into what I need to do.”
“You tackled the problems and you gave me insight into what I need to do.”
James W**l
New Jersey
“…we are doing many of the things suggested.”
“Fortunately, we are doing many of the things suggested. Rebuilding is hard and
forgiveness is really the only answer. However, both partners must admit to not
meeting each others needs prior to the affair. I now know that I was not
meeting my husband’s needs and he wasn’t meeting any of mine.”
Pamela S****r
Charlotte, NC
“…it helps to have specific suggestions for moving forward.”
“In the midst of something so emotionally devastating, it helps to have specific
suggestions for moving forward. Thanks.”
Gina P***s
Mobile, AL
“I appreciated the way you expressed the different types of trust.”
“I appreciated the way you expressed the different types of trust. Most people
I’ve spoken with believe in all or nothing when it comes to trusting a spouse
and are unable to reach beyond the fidelity issue. I’ll try to extrapolate the
idea of different aspects of relationships to other areas of my life.”
Paulette M*****n
Houston, TX
“I was feeling that my ‘suspicious’ feelings were bad for me.”
“The truly value the part of the chapter that said it’s natural for the ‘injured’
party to feel suspicion. I was feeling that my ‘suspicious’ feelings were bad
for me in the effort to find trust again in our relationship.”
Bob B**h
Plano, TX
“I am noticeably more open and understanding.”
“This book helped me realize that a healthy relationship is primarily about
predictability. I will learn to listen and be generally more attentive. I am
noticeably more open and understanding of why affairs can happen. The10
Destructive Habits that Demolish Trust and Tear Down Love helped me see these
habits itemized in list form, helping me identify. This created a greater
awareness of how easily they can cause problems if not understood.”
Shasta L**g
Toronto Canada
“I have learned that I need to consider my spouse’s efforts”
“The self destructive behaviors overview showed me what not to do. I try to be
more aware of those destructive behaviors and develop good behaviors that will
benefit and not harm my marriage. This chapter showed that I need to take stock
of all the effort my spouse does make, and realize that it won’t happen
overnight. I have learned that I need to consider my spouse’s efforts to
reassure me and not always look for the negative.”
Maria
Planada, CA
“Now, I try to focus on nurturing the trust within the
relationship.”
“I loved the part describing our breaking-down-the-trust issue. I didn’t really
think before about all the different issues relating to trusting someone. I was
focusing purely on the issue of fidelity. Now, I try to focus on nurturing the
trust within the relationship, the trust that is already there, and I know the
fidelity issue with follow. The Transparency section helped me realize now how
hard my husband is trying to rebuild the trust in our marriage and what he is
doing to make sure that I cannot misinterpret his intentions for anything.”
Donna M****s
Aberdeen, Scotland
“I have already identified some the efforts that my partner has
been exhibiting.”
“My favorite sections were ‘The Five Types of Trust’, the bulleted summaries and
the destructive habits to avoid. I will view the healing process in a more open
and less selfish perspective. I have already identified some the efforts that
my partner has been exhibiting. My fear and hesitation has decreased and has
assisted me in moving forward and not feeling stuck in the hurt. It also
illustrated that the undulating feelings of suspicion are natural and just need
to be worked through. The F Forms of Trust in a Relationship section broadens
the view of trust and that, with infidelity, the other areas can be used to
support the reconstruction of building trust again in this area that has been
weakened.”
Diana S******d
Victoria, TX
“It gave me the idea that there is hope to trust again.”
“I loved The Five Forms of Trust in a Relationship section. It gave me the idea
that there is hope to trust again. Building Blocks for a totally transparent
relationship is also helpful, offering step-by-step and practical guideline
towards transparency.”
Lily K*a
Anaheim, CA
“It’s very clearly written and easy to understand.”
“I found the entire chapter helpful. It is informational, logical and offers
step-by-step instructions. It’s very clearly written and easy to understand.
More importantly I’d be comfortable with any or all of the strategies your
discussed. I now have a better picture of the steps that need to be taken to
restore my trust in my husband. This section also helped me see that my
previous requests for transparency were not at all unreasonable. Your book
gives logical and thoughtful suggestions.”
Demelza R***y
North Bend, WA
“Commendable.”
“I thought you did a very thorough job in explaining what is necessary for the
cheater to do and how the cheated-on will respond and why. It also shows what
to expect and what to do about it. Commendable.”
Natalie M***n
El Paso, TX
“Each highlighted area struck home.”
“It reaffirmed what I already believed in plain English. Each highlighted area
struck home so to speak. I now feel like I am not going nuts.”
Yvonne H***n
Arlington, TX
“This chapter let me see that I can still trust some areas of our
relationship.”
“This chapter let me see that I can still trust some areas of our relationship.
While I find it difficult to believe his answers to my questions concerning the
other woman, I now know how to tackle our issues responsibly.”
Joyce C****n
Valley, AL
“Your chapter enlightened me.”
“I enjoyed the section on communication. I always figured good communication just
happened naturally in a relationship if two good communicators were involved.
Your chapter enlightened me on the fact that good communication requires good
listening and doesn’t just happen. I came to the realization that good
communication in a relationship doesn’t just happen. You have to plan, take
time and implement.”
Theresa M****n
Phoenix, AZ
“All of the items discussed are important to renewing a damaged
relationship.”
“The whole section on communication was beneficial. In the way it was presented,
it placed a ‘whole lot of stuff’ in an understandable format for me. All of the
items discussed are important to renewing a damaged relationship. Although it
is a risk, communicating timely rather than allowing issues to fester and as a
result both of us drawing away from one another. I have a better understanding
of the needs associated with recreating my relationship. It put into words
feelings and thoughts that I have.”
Sherry M****l
Elmira, NY
“Gave me ideas and ways to communicate with out placing blame.”
“Your section on conflict resolution will help me the most, as I have never
approached it in the proper way. I learned the proper way of brainstorming. The
Five Tips for a Brilliantly Creative Brainstorming Session gave me ideas and
ways to communicate with out placing blame. I have always placed blame, and now
I know why it never worked.”
Donald M***e
Boyne City, MI
“This section gave advise on how to communicate my feelings differently.”
“The section regarding a healthy sexual relationship showed me that the pattern
my spouse and I are on is average compared to others who’ve experienced this
issue. This section gave advise on how to communicate my feelings differently.
I used to think it was wrong to take a break during an argument, but now I see
that sometimes it is really needed to calm down and analyze my thoughts and
feelings on the matter.”
J. L****r
Atlanta, GA
“There were lots of things that I will do differently now.”
“This whole chapter helped me. It has shown me that we have been doing some of
these things, and lets me kind of know where we are. It also shows me more of
what we (or I) should say and do. There were lots of things that I will do
differently now. Mostly how I act when we talk, using my body language to show
him that I am really listening. I really enjoyed this chapter!”
Donna N*****d
Steinbach
MB Canada
“The section can help you to control your anger.”
“This chapter talks about boundary discussions. I learned to always tell the
truth. Most people seem to not believe the truth when the truth is being told.
But my reaction will be different. This section shows how to accept that which
you cannot change, plus offers a great definition for acceptance. The section
can help you to control your anger.”
Desmond H*****d
Shepperton
England, UK
“(You) helped me more closely examine my motivations for my
behavior towards my spouse.”
“The distinction between acceptance and forgiveness was very helpful. I also
loved the advice to not prematurely accept things for the wrong reasons. The
Three False Forms of Acceptance: Demons that can Hold You Back on Your Road to
Healing helped me more closely examine my motivations for my behavior towards
my spouse.”
Paul R***z
Colleyville, TX
“It is easy to read, understand and follow the logic.”
“I like your format: Introduction, stating the issue and the facts/applications,
examples, summary and nut shell review. It is like my law class presentations
of IRAC (issue, rule, applications and conclusions). It is easy to read,
understand and follow the logic. The section covering the Difference between
Acceptance and Forgiveness is my favorite. It explains that I am normal for not
being able to forget what happen and the behavior, but it is OK to go forward
and accept that neither of us can change the past. I learned that it is good to
learn from the experience to avoid similar situations. It is OK to disagree.”
Dianna L H****n
Plano, TX
“I learned that the only change is on me.”
“The part that benefited me most was the acceptance section. I know that there
will be times he can accept it and there will be times where he can’t accept it
well. I just need to understand that and accept the outcome, hoping for the
best. I learned that the only change is on me. I have to accept his feelings
and know he may never forgive me for what I have done. The Opening the Heart
Once More section gives me hope to not give up, accept what I’ve done and use
it to make things better.”
Melissa N*****s
Corona, CA
“I have seen a great change from the help in your previous
chapters.”
“I loved the section about knowing yourself and knowing when it’s okay to accept
the past, while, at the same time, you don’t have to forgive it. Each person is
his own and it takes time along with effort for both parts. You also can’t be
rushed into false acceptance because it takes more time to accept it and move
on slowly, knowing it’s my own time to do this. I’m more relieved to know I
have the right to take my time in accepting, and moving into forgiving. I have
seen a great change from the help in your previous chapters, knowing it’s okay
to accept it without having to forgive immediately or even forget.”
Ginger L.
Euclid, OH
“I will now stop focusing on forgiveness and work on acceptance.”
“I love the idea that I don’t have to forgive or forget to move on. I wondered
how I could move on without forgiving, and if I could love again without
forgiving her for what she did. I will now stop focusing on forgiveness and
work on acceptance.”
Michael M***e
Victoria, Australia
“Our therapist confirms that my emotions are normal, but doesn’t
really give advice on how to work through them.”
“(I liked) All the tips on how to work through the emotions. Our therapist
confirms that my emotions are normal, but doesn’t really give advice on how to
work through them.”
Mary Z*******n
Toledo, OH
“We really appreciate the exercises you gave us.”
“We really appreciated the exercises you gave us. Learning about the emotions my
husband is feeling has helped me and helped him feel normal. We are learning
how to talk and be completely honest with each other.”
Holly D***s
Memphis, TN